The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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