Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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