i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I CAN MOONWALK!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
