I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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