So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
