No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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