The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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