I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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