I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize