thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
