no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize