WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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