direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
