Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
