Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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