I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
