New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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