Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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