Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
