So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize