I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
