fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
