i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
