I love black thongs
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
