The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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