just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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