remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Let's get the cat blown out
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
