Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
