I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
