Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
