North Korea, Best Korea!
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
