My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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