i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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