You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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