Got a toothbrush?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
