It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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