its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize