i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
