its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
