just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
