I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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