Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
