mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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