Where are you?
In a non slutty way
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This baby is an asshole
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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