I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
