Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
