she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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