my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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