so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man