So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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