Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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