just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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