i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
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I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger