I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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