this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
either way he was missing a nipple.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
