I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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