some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
