idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
