and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
