Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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