i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
