so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize