You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
