If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
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Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch