break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
