Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
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Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.