i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
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You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
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they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....