Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
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I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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